


When Duty Calls

by ladyamesindy



Series: Commander Sian Shepard [9]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 05:26:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5572618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyamesindy/pseuds/ladyamesindy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been six months since Sian Shepard turned herself over to Alliance hands, and despite being under house arrest, some things just never change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Duty Calls

_“Go!  RUN!”_

_Her tone brooked no argument, but falling debris around them did more to punctuate the urgency than anything else.  Kaidan sprinted off first, the blue sheen of his biotics flaring should he need them to clear the path along the way.  Tali followed right behind him.  The quarian appeared to be moving fine, but Sian knew she had to have some suit ruptures at the very least as a result of that last battle.  Still, she was mobile, and that was the important thing.  Reaching down, Sian leant Jack a hand, hauling the biotic to her feet and then dashing off a half step behind her.  And not a moment too soon as a large chunk of … well, SOMEthing came falling down from the Collector Base, landing with enough force where they’d just been to push Sian violently ahead of Jack a step or two with the force behind it.  It was down to a race against time … and time was winning._

_It didn’t take long to get Jack darting up ahead of her again.  Just a few steps was all.  But Sian had no problems with her squad moving ahead of her.  In fact, she preferred it that way; no one left behind was her motto.  It had been guiding her since ... well, since well before the mess on Akuze all those years ago.  It had been behind her decision to send Ashley ahead to finish evacuating the crew when the Normandy went down.  It had, on some level, been why losing Kaidan on Virmire had so nearly destroyed her._

_It seemed like hours but was actually only minutes when they reached the Normandy.  Momentum behind him, Kaidan leapt across the chasm first.  He was nearly tackled as he turned a moment later to help the others when Tali thudded into him.  She wasn’t in a mood to wait for the hatch entryway to clear first.  A loud, long, angry snarl from Jack as she launched herself next left Sian mentally laughing … at least until the metal beam that they had used to get close in to the ship suddenly shifted, falling away in the chasm below._

_Nonplussed, Sian did not change her direction or her intention even despite feeling her stomach sinking quickly with dread.  Memories from two years earlier fought to take hold of her mind with a ferocious grasp despite her efforts to resist them.  This time, however, she saw Joker standing in the hatchway, assault rifle in hand and taking pot shots back at the Collectors behind her.  At least this time he wasn’t refusing to leave his seat.   Beside him, Kaidan’s biotic aura began to flare.  For one long, heart wrenching moment, their eyes met and held …._

_Adrenaline surged through Sian’s veins as she reached the chasm’s edge and jumped, launching herself across an unending space of openness that had no end in sight.  A burst of biotic energy shot towards her, bright and familiar as it neared but did not quite reach.  Sian’s right hand flailed wildly towards the ship, but only connected with the empty air in between instead and in the distance, she saw the Kaidan and Joker and the Normandy dissolve into specks in the distance as she gravity caught tight around her ankles and she descended into the chasm and away from safety …._

 

~ 0 ~

 

Surging upright, Sian drew in a deep, ragged breath.  Her heart thudded heavily, almost dangerously fast, as if trying to leap free of her chest.  Absently, a hand rose and rubbed at the persistent ache centered above her left breast, trying to soothe it away.  

“Hey, Commander.  You okay in there?”

Sian blinked in the dark as the voice broke through the darkness and vestiges of the dream.  “Vega,” she chided raspily, desperately seeking something casual or at the very least familiar by which to ground herself in reality.  “You’re not … supposed to call me that.”

He ignored her, asking, “Nightmare?”

That was the only trigger needed to start the cascade of shudders that ripped violently through her frame.  Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around her legs, dropping her head to her knees and held on for the ride.  “Yeah,” she groaned unsteadily.  “Something like that.”  Nightmares.  Memories.  What was the difference anymore?  If it wasn’t something from the past haunting her, visions of the future would and pretty soon those would be real enough and no doubt would be worse than anything she’d ever faced before.

A soft buzz and a click followed a moment later, but she was still too far within the dream’s grasp to pull free in order to investigate.  Another shudder resulted in a pained moan escaping, and she drew her lip between her teeth, pressing down hard to stop the sound.  Hands fisting, she pounded one against the mattress in an attempt to break free at last.  She was Shepard.  Savior of the Citadel.  She defeated the Collectors and blew up their base.  She was _ALIVE_ , and she alone had first hand knowledge of what was coming …  Only no one was listening.  Anderson had told her it would take time, but she knew that time was something they could ill afford right now.

The quiet rustle of bare feet padding across the floor finally forced her head to lift.  Green eyes searched through the dimness and met familiar dark caramel.  “Shepard,” Kaidan murmured, dropping to sit beside her on the bed, his hand rising to rest at her shoulders, “you okay?  Vega said you had another nightmare.”

The temptation to turn into his arms, to throw herself against him and hide from the worst the past had to offer, the dreams would never completely go away, the visions of a future filled with darkness and destruction awaiting them - all of it was very real.  The young girl from Mindoir inside her still wanted to scream in frustration at the unfairness of it all.  To shout and throw things, biotically or not, and point out that they - the Alliance - was missing all opportunity to prepare, otherwise the entire galaxy would be doomed to suffer what she had on Mindoir, only many, many times worse.

But she didn’t.  The Alliance might have stripped her of her rank, but she was still Commander Fucking Shepard (Sian had to admit, James’ title for her had the ability to help the rough edges smooth out after a night like this).  Besides, if she couldn’t fight back her own dreams, what good was she, anyway?

“Kaidan.”

Her voice was a breath, a bare whisper in the fading darkness surrounding them.  His hand moved to her cheek, but their eyes never broke contact.  Instinct had her tilting her head into the touch, savoring it.  Leave it to Vega to recognize what she needed most right now.  One of these days she’d have to pay the kid back for it.

_House arrest._  

It was an ugly phrase, a blatant slap in the face and denial of who and what she was, both as a person and for the Alliance.  Unfortunately, Alliance Command was more intent upon keeping her out of the mix right now - ostensibly because of the time spent with Cerberus over the past year - never mind that they hadn’t really had a say in the matter at the time - but also tied in with it, whether openly stated or not, was the incident in the Bahak system.  

Since their arrival, Sian had fought valiantly to get Kaidan freed from most if not all of the same charges, insisting that the decisions had been hers alone and she accepted full responsibility.  But nearly six months into their incarceration, Kaidan was still incarcerated with her and there was no sign that the Alliance was planning to change that decision anytime soon.  They had separate rooms of course (back in the fold there were regs and all to follow), but he was there.  And even though she wished he at least would get his freedom, Sian could admit that having him around to interact with helped.  Especially at times like this which, unfortunately, were not as rare as she would prefer.  

Kaidan’s thumb twitched gently against her skin, tracing a line down her jaw.  “What was it this time?” he asked quietly.  “Bahak?”  

Groaning softly, Sian’s eyes closed.  That was one of her biggest gripes against Command - Kaidan hadn’t even been with her on that mission, the Reaper’s ‘almost arrival’ - but they treated him as if he had been.  Sian had told him about it in detail afterwards, of course.  About the Reaper artifact.  The indoctrination.  About just how close she had come to not stopping the Reapers’ return in time.  

Talk about nightmares ….  

Head shaking back and forth just a little, she replied in a voice still rough with the memories of their near miss during that escape, “Collector base.”   _If they’d stayed unconscious a moment longer … if that beam hadn’t remained in place until Jack jumped … if … if …._

Warmth and strength slid around her shoulders with Kaidan’s arm as he urged her closer, and this time Sian simply caved.  Leaning towards him, her head fell to his shoulder and she released the last remnants of that horror in a long, hard shudder.  So violent, in fact, that she moved her arms around his waist and held on tightly.  

“Take a deep breath,” Kaidan instructed.  He continued to speak in a low, soft tone, his lips near her ears as he held her.  “In through your nose.  Now release it slowly through your lips.  Good.  Take another.”  He’d lived through his own fair share of nightmares over the years.  Might as well let her in on the tricks that had helped him, right?  “That’s it.  Again.”

In all honesty, it didn’t surprise Kaidan that Shepard was still having bad dreams, even at this late date.  Between some of the missions she’d been on in the past year and the Collector Base and then essentially being locked up for the past six months, he had no doubt her stress levels were off the charts and triggering them on a nearly nightly basis.  Their incarceration was easy by comparison to what it could have been, he supposed, but when looking at the overall bigger picture?  Pulling Shepard from where she could do the most good, from helping prepare for the Reaper invasion, hell, simply the act of pulling her from _ACTIVE DUTY_ \- that was what had done the most harm.  She was a soldier.  A woman of action.  She gave her all to the job at hand and got it done without argument, without question and by whatever means necessary.  And what did she receive in return?

Having left her hair down, Kaidan gently combed his fingers through the long coppery curls, hoping the effort would offer some help in relaxing her.  

Their situation could be much worse, he realized that.  Like Shepard, he hadn’t expected to be on the receiving end of any special or preferential treatment after being found alive.  He was like her; a product of Cerberus interference.  The Alliance would have been crazy to let him back into their fold without investigating thoroughly.  Which was why, he supposed, they had been asking him so many questions on a daily basis since he and Shepard had turned themselves over.  

Heavy booted steps behind him caused Kaidan to glance back over his shoulder.   _Vega_.  The Lieutenant, Kaidan decided early on, was a good kid.  He’d obviously had his hands full with two people to watch, but by agreement even before they’d turned themselves over to Alliance hands, Kaidan and Shepard were willing to behave and therefore kept the Lieutenant’s troubles to a minimum.  In return, and after the first time Shepard experienced a bad nightmare, Vega summoned Kaidan, asking if he knew how to deal with it.  Kaidan wasn’t quite sure if it was because Vega figured Kaidan knew her better or that he just didn’t feel qualified to handle it, but whatever the case, Kaidan appreciated it.  Just like he appreciated the bottle of water the Lieutenant now set on the bedside table for Shepard to drink later.  Without question or concern, he then backtracked out of the room, shutting the door behind him and securing it once again.

Sian’s head lifted at the sound of the door closing, and Kaidan glanced down at her.  “It was Vega,” he murmured.  He watched her eyes flit from the door to the nightstand, then back to him.  Sighing softly, he asked, “Better?”

When she nodded and began pulling away from him, Kaidan released her.  “Come on,” he added, rising to his feet and offering her a hand if she wanted it.  She accepted it and he pulled her up beside him.  “Let’s get cleaned up so we can head to the gym.”  Thankfully, part of their daily routine started with them working out.  Sometimes Vega would join in, but mostly it was just Kaidan and Shepard.  It was another way of relieving the inevitable stress that came with a less active life than they were used to while under house arrest.  Had Kaidan been asked, he would have suggested they have gym time in the evenings before sleep, but no one had asked and so he just made do and was grateful for the opportunity.

Sian smirked and Kaidan saw a hint of a spark in her eyes.  “You really want me to kick your ass on the track again, Alenko?” she teased.

Kaidan chuckled, retorting, “I was thinking we could take it into the sparring ring this time,” he told her.  “I need to earn back some of my reputation lost on the track.”

She grinned back at him, confidence growing and eventually oozing from her.  Normally, this might have had him doubting what lay ahead, but after the nightmare, he could only see the shift in her as a relief.  Hopefully it meant she was feeling better.

Kaidan was just turning towards the doorway when it opened unexpectedly, Vega standing there, his body tight and tense.  “Need you both to get dressed ASAP,” he told them without preamble.  “The Defense Committee wants to see you.  Right now.”

Sian looked over at Kaidan and he at her.  “We are out of time,” she announced quietly, her mind searching for other alternatives to the sudden change in Vega and, to be honest, the feel of the air around them.  What else could it mean?  

“I’ll be ready in five,” Kaidan told her before sprinting to his room.  Sian, he saw just before turning, nodded and reached for her own uniform.  

In less than five minutes, they met again at the main entrance to their rooms.  Vega unlocked the door, leading the way out into the hallway.  Out here, the tension was even more tangible, if such a thing was possible.  “What’s going on?” Kaidan asked.

“Can’t say,” Vega replied.  “All I know is the Committee wants to see you ASAP.”

Shepard winced as the threesome hurried down the hall, darting and dodging out of the way of other Alliance military personnel who were scurrying about.  “It has to be the Reapers,” she muttered to Kaidan.  

They were just turning a corner when a familiar booming voice agreed.  “You would be right on that count, Shepard.” Admiral Anderson nodded at Vega’s quick salute before taking the Lieutenant’s place, leading both Shepard and Kaidan down the corridor.  “Come on.  Duty calls.”

Without doubt or hesitation, Sian and Kaidan fell into step beside him.

 


End file.
